Go back to David. The resident boob here at the SNC is a treasure trove of tripe.
Working Out
What a great boot camp we are having!!! (I don't want to come home!)
The guys have really grasped everything we have gone over and yesterday on the beach in Malibu we had a blast. (Doing what?)
We did a drill that really helped them overcome approach anxiety forever!! (David holds whistle while 8 losers hit on women at the beach. They pay for this BTW)
I’ve been asked many times to do a blog about working out. (no you haven't)
Personally, I’m a workout nut:(Shocker!) I do yoga (gay)I run on the treadmill (boring)I hike hills (bully for David!) I swim (congrats) and I do weights.(Thanks for the list of bullshit noone cares about--god i guarantee he's that douche bag that talks to people about his workout. Guaranteed.) Why do I do all of this? Because I’m vain and I like to look good! (Oh, self deprecation. Ladies love that)
Well, that is true enough, but I also like to stay in shape and feel good about myself. One of the benefits of working out is being able to feel better about yourself. (You just said that)You can look at yourself in the mirror and be proud of who you are. (Or a vain asshole)You don’t have excuses. Many people don’t like their bodies but they don’t do anything about it – they live in Excuseland, (that's rich) where anything and everything prevents them from meeting people. (Not everyone has some bullshit job where they can spend Noon to 3pm at the fucking gym, David! We can't all be dating coaches.)
Working out is really healthy for your body. (News flash! He gets paid for this remember?)You can extend your lifespan and it makes you feel great. (We get it. Jesus.)
Even better: going to the gym, going hiking, and going to yoga classes gives you the opportunity to meet more people! (Sigh)Much more can happen when you work out besides just looking fantastic and feeling great.
For everybody out there that doesn’t work out, let me make a suggestion for you: you don’t have to go on a rigid workout plan where you lose 20 pounds TODAY; you want to go on a workout plan where you gradually lose weight. (Thanks, Dr. Fucking Obvious)You want a workout plan that makes you feel good. (Blow job?)
You also have to figure out what type of workout is best for you. If you don’t like to run, don’t! There are plenty of other things to try. (Like punching the fuck out of you!)There are classes, there is yoga; there are all types of workouts and all types of things to do to be active. Find what is best for you.
You also have to set realistic goals. Don’t try to lose 30 pounds in a week! (Again, you already said that. Jesus. Take one pass through after you write it. It takes 30 seconds.)It’s not going to happen! You want to start taking weight off and keeping it off over a gradual period of time. (See above)
This means that you’ll have to work out regularly, and change your diet. Diet regimen is very important; you really are what you eat. It’s very important to maintain a very clean diet. Lay off of the processed foods. It takes a combination of the right foods and the right type of exercise to keep the weight off. (What the fuck is this? Health corner for Retards?)
Keep in mind that just like dating – just like learning how to meet the opposite sex – you have to keep it up over a period of time. (Oh, see what he did there?...)You can’t just expect miracles to happen instantaneously. The longer you keep it up, the longer the effects of this lifestyle will last.
I’m going to share a story with you: when I was 18 years old, I was a “tall drink of water” – that’s what my mother used to call me. I was one of those really skinny water glasses – the ones that don’t hold all that much water at all. I was just a tall drink of water. (Huh?)
I wanted so bad to not be so skinny anymore. I tried everything to put weight on. In college, I used to make bread sandwiches – I’d take two pieces of processed white bread, put a piece of processed American cheese in between, and eat the entire pound of cheese and the entire loaf of bread in one sitting, hoping to gain weight. (See, David is trying to show us his real side. Problem--it's made up bullshit)
The only thing that happened as a result of this was the unbelievable stomachaches I would have every morning when I woke up! I didn’t gain any weight; I would actually become ill and LOSE weight!
Then I decided to begin working out. I started very slowly and then began to increase the weights. I kept noticing the subtlest changes in my body, and every day I kept motivated and continued at it. (hoorah)
That’s the thing about life – staying at it and keeping motivated will create amazing results for you. It is when you quit and don’t push yourself that you don’t get very far. (Like quitting a dating boot camp?)
So work out! Find the right workout plan for yourself that will really suit who you are and what you are about, and get ready to feel great! (Fuck off)
Working Out
What a great boot camp we are having!!! (I don't want to come home!)
The guys have really grasped everything we have gone over and yesterday on the beach in Malibu we had a blast. (Doing what?)
We did a drill that really helped them overcome approach anxiety forever!! (David holds whistle while 8 losers hit on women at the beach. They pay for this BTW)
I’ve been asked many times to do a blog about working out. (no you haven't)
Personally, I’m a workout nut:(Shocker!) I do yoga (gay)I run on the treadmill (boring)I hike hills (bully for David!) I swim (congrats) and I do weights.(Thanks for the list of bullshit noone cares about--god i guarantee he's that douche bag that talks to people about his workout. Guaranteed.) Why do I do all of this? Because I’m vain and I like to look good! (Oh, self deprecation. Ladies love that)
Well, that is true enough, but I also like to stay in shape and feel good about myself. One of the benefits of working out is being able to feel better about yourself. (You just said that)You can look at yourself in the mirror and be proud of who you are. (Or a vain asshole)You don’t have excuses. Many people don’t like their bodies but they don’t do anything about it – they live in Excuseland, (that's rich) where anything and everything prevents them from meeting people. (Not everyone has some bullshit job where they can spend Noon to 3pm at the fucking gym, David! We can't all be dating coaches.)
Working out is really healthy for your body. (News flash! He gets paid for this remember?)You can extend your lifespan and it makes you feel great. (We get it. Jesus.)
Even better: going to the gym, going hiking, and going to yoga classes gives you the opportunity to meet more people! (Sigh)Much more can happen when you work out besides just looking fantastic and feeling great.
For everybody out there that doesn’t work out, let me make a suggestion for you: you don’t have to go on a rigid workout plan where you lose 20 pounds TODAY; you want to go on a workout plan where you gradually lose weight. (Thanks, Dr. Fucking Obvious)You want a workout plan that makes you feel good. (Blow job?)
You also have to figure out what type of workout is best for you. If you don’t like to run, don’t! There are plenty of other things to try. (Like punching the fuck out of you!)There are classes, there is yoga; there are all types of workouts and all types of things to do to be active. Find what is best for you.
You also have to set realistic goals. Don’t try to lose 30 pounds in a week! (Again, you already said that. Jesus. Take one pass through after you write it. It takes 30 seconds.)It’s not going to happen! You want to start taking weight off and keeping it off over a gradual period of time. (See above)
This means that you’ll have to work out regularly, and change your diet. Diet regimen is very important; you really are what you eat. It’s very important to maintain a very clean diet. Lay off of the processed foods. It takes a combination of the right foods and the right type of exercise to keep the weight off. (What the fuck is this? Health corner for Retards?)
Keep in mind that just like dating – just like learning how to meet the opposite sex – you have to keep it up over a period of time. (Oh, see what he did there?...)You can’t just expect miracles to happen instantaneously. The longer you keep it up, the longer the effects of this lifestyle will last.
I’m going to share a story with you: when I was 18 years old, I was a “tall drink of water” – that’s what my mother used to call me. I was one of those really skinny water glasses – the ones that don’t hold all that much water at all. I was just a tall drink of water. (Huh?)
I wanted so bad to not be so skinny anymore. I tried everything to put weight on. In college, I used to make bread sandwiches – I’d take two pieces of processed white bread, put a piece of processed American cheese in between, and eat the entire pound of cheese and the entire loaf of bread in one sitting, hoping to gain weight. (See, David is trying to show us his real side. Problem--it's made up bullshit)
The only thing that happened as a result of this was the unbelievable stomachaches I would have every morning when I woke up! I didn’t gain any weight; I would actually become ill and LOSE weight!
Then I decided to begin working out. I started very slowly and then began to increase the weights. I kept noticing the subtlest changes in my body, and every day I kept motivated and continued at it. (hoorah)
That’s the thing about life – staying at it and keeping motivated will create amazing results for you. It is when you quit and don’t push yourself that you don’t get very far. (Like quitting a dating boot camp?)
So work out! Find the right workout plan for yourself that will really suit who you are and what you are about, and get ready to feel great! (Fuck off)
1 comment:
Bet he masturbates to himself in the mirror.
Post a Comment