What's French for Buggery?

Pierre Pierce allowed to travel to France

DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) — A ruling that allows former Iowa basketball player Pierre Pierce to leave the state to play professionally in France was met with disapproval by the Iowa attorney general (How can this guy disapprove of non-consentual butt sex?  Jerk.)

In a filing late Tuesday afternoon, the attorney general's office asked the state Supreme Court to reconsider its ruling, "given the extraordinary issues presented by this case and because one member of the three judge panel dissented from the ... order."

Bob Brammer, a spokesman for the attorney general's office, said his office had no comment beyond the filing. Pierce's attorney, Alfredo Parrish, could not be immediately reached for comment on the request for reconsideration (C'mon, Alfredo!  Throw me some bullshit line about how Pierre learned his lesson and should be allowed to get on with his life.).

Earlier Tuesday, a three judge panel of the Iowa Supreme Court upheld a Dallas County District Court ruling that Pierce could travel to France (Bet he checked the rape laws there...you know...just in case.).

The court had previously granted the attorney general's request to stay the lower court's ruling.
The attorney general has argued that there is no law allowing someone on probation to complete their sentence in another country. The attorney general said it would make it difficult to monitor Pierce's behavior. (Here it comes.  Sock it to me, Alfredo.)

Parrish, disagreed in an 11-page brief filed with the court on Monday.

"The question is not whether statutory authority exists that authorizes the district court to transfer supervision of a probationer to a foreign country; rather, the question is whether statutory law prohibits the district court from allowing a probationer to travel to a foreign country while supervision will be maintained," Parrish wrote in the brief. ("I did not say that to just say that.  I said it to say that I couldn't say that and by saying that, I know that saying that was something that should have been said.")

Parrish claims there are few restrictions dealing with probation. (Anyone else think something has to be codified relating to probation on a felony charge and leaving the country?) 

Reached after the three-member panel's initial ruling on Tuesday, Parrish said he was relieved for his client and thought the decision was appropriate.

"It's been a long, hard battle," (I know.  It's just been terrible for you guys.) Parrish said. "This is the correct decision. I strongly believe it's the correct decision (By saying that you strongly believe it doesn't make it more so.) ... It'll be my hope that he'll be able to leave for France by the end of the week." (Translation:  Get the fuck out of Dodge.)

He said Pierce was "very relieved" when he heard the news. (Did he poop himself?)  

"He's been practicing every day," (He's dedicated.) Parrish said. "He's had a very rigid physical fitness program (Focused.). He's had some adversity (Poor guy.) and made some mistakes (Turning the ball over is a mistake.) and he's trying to move on and prove he can be a law abiding citizen." (You know how you prove that?  By not terrorizing another person.  You already failed that test, Pierre.  No do-overs.) 

Pierce has signed a $120,000 contract with a team in France's top professional basketball league. He is on probation for a January 2005 incident at the West Des Moines home of a former girlfriend. The charges resulted in his being kicked off the Iowa basketball team. At the time, Pierce was the third-leading scorer in the Big Ten. Pierce led the Hawkeyes with 16.1 points a game as a sophomore in 2003-04. (Boy, that's a bit of a brief summary.  And Thank God we got his PPG in there.  Because that's important.  It's part of the whole picture and entirely relevant. (He said sarcastically and then not so much).)

He pleaded guilty in August 2005 to third-degree burglary, (And buggery.) false imprisonment, assault with intent to commit sexual abuse and criminal trespass.

He served 11 months in prison at the Mount Pleasant Correctional Facility before he was released in September 2006.

Pierce was sentenced in April to 30 days in jail for violating his probation while playing in an NBA summer league in Las Vegas.  (What's that about proving he's a law-abiding citizen again?)