Thursday, July 17, 2008

Or Better Yet--Shoot the Fucking Thing!


I've never understood people who prefer cats to dogs but to each their own. This just seems kind of sad and odd.

Wichitan asks city for cat leash law
BY BRENT D. WISTROM
Howard Feiner is so annoyed with the cat droppings in his yard,(crybaby) he has logged the kitties' leavings and put flags up to mark the spots.(TCB)
He has done this for a couple of reasons. (Only A couple?)
He's in court with his neighbor, Joan Steindler, who owns three cats.
And he hates the smell of "the deposits" (Hey, honey, I gotta go 'make a deposit'. Talk to you in ten minutes. Got any new magazines?) so much that he went before the Wichita City Council on Tuesday seeking a leash law for cats.
The city says such complaints are widespread but that it has no laws to help -- nothing to stop cats from roaming, nothing to punish cat owners if their cats leave a little something behind on the neighbor's lawn. (Cat turds--the new epedemic.)
Attempts to pass such laws have failed. (Got something better on the docket, Wichita? Doubt it.)
Feiner, 66, who says he and his wife have health problems that make it difficult to pick up after cats, said he feels powerless.
"I don't know what I can do," he said. "It seems like the cats have more rights than we do."
But his neighbor says she is a responsible cat owner and that her cats spend about 21 hours a day inside. (The other 3 he "doesn't ask")
"I think it's a sad situation that we can't settle this whole matter," Steindler said. "It's not pleasant, that's for sure." (Thanks, Mr. Mundane)
The 78-year-old said she offered to hire someone to pick up any leavings (Deposits? Leavings? It's called cat shit and it's right next to burnt hair in awful)in Feiner's yard once a week -- even though some of the droppings may come from other cats. But Feiner said he frequently barbecues and would like to have a clean yard every day. (He's healthy enough to BBQ and eat grilled cheeseburgers but can't plunk his fat ass down to pick up a cat turd?) The dispute has led Steindler to file a stalking case against Feiner and vice-versa, according to court files. Feiner has also filed a small claims case, trying to get paid back for $233 worth of anti-cat devices (stealth goggles)he bought, court files showed.
The neighbors' conflict is an extreme example of disputes that play out across the city.
Kay Johnson, the city's director of Environmental Services, which oversees animal control, said she receives frequent complaints about roaming cats -- stray and otherwise.
"We do get cat calls," she joked. (That was a joke?)
She said she wouldn't recommend requiring cats to be on a leash when they're outside. (Because it looks ridiculous or because it's fucking stupid. Or both.)But she said a nuisance law may be worth considering.
Such a law would probably be complaint-based. But it may be difficult to enforce and could create other legal problems, she said. (the hell you say? Old people don't look for shit to complain about. Get out of here!)
In 2005, the city considered requiring people to license their cats, as they must their dogs. (I need a license for my pet cat, Eric!)
But the idea died after some pet-owner outcry and lack of City Council support. (Or complete lack of interest. Six of one.)
Johnson said she'll look into new laws again if council members urge her to. (Yeah. Count on that.)
Council member Paul Gray said he'd support something to ease frustrations over roaming cats.
"We need to do something," he said. "We bring the thunder of God down on someone with 30 dogs in their back yard. You do that with cats and you can get away with it." (I've now read that sentence 5 times and it still makes no sense.)
He said a leash law probably isn't the answer, but that cats aren't different enough from dogs for the city to have such a disparity in laws.
Council member Sharon Fearey said the issue is complicated and a new law may not be the answer.
She said she sees stray cats in her neighborhood.
"We have all sorts of leash laws out there for dogs, and I still have problems with dogs in my yard," she said.
It may come down to simple courtesy, Fearey said. (Personal resonsibility? How novel)
"You just can't legislate responsibility and neighborliness," she said

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