Monday, July 21, 2008

More Bullshit From the Dating Coach

David Wygant belches out more bull plop. He's a dating coach. Whatever the fuck that is.
For more on our feelings on this douchebag/fraud go here.
Why Do Women Fall For Bad Boys?
By David Wygant
Sometimes my house is called Camp David – no, I don’t have any political heads of state there, nor am I entertaining George Bush, his dog, and all his Washington drinking cronies (glad that's cleared up)– but I always seem to have a group (sometimes small, sometimes large) of people hanging out there. (I'll be that's a happening palace of mutual self righteousness)
Sometimes on a Bootcamp weekend I’ll have a whole bunch of clients staying over at my house – and then it really is Camp David! (Cymbal crash) It’s like a sleepover.(And what guy over 12 doesn't love those?) They all bring their sleeping bags, and we go duck hunting in the morning, and then we go do some pow wow stuff. Just kidding, we don’t really do that in the mornings! (We have butt sex)So the other night at Camp David we had a couple of people over. There was this one woman there named Amy, and she and Khiem started talking. Khiem wanted to share something that you women tend to do over and over again. (Nag? Worry too much? Listen to bull shit 'dating experts'?)
So ladies, as the men would say, this Bud’s for you – I’ll say, ladies, this blog’s for you! (I'm getting diabtes) Without further ado, here is Khiem.
Khiem: Thanks David. I always enjoy hanging out with you at your house because I can always meet interesting people. (I'll bet)Yesterday, I was very fascinated by one of your friends. Amy is obviously beautiful, young and has a lot going for her, but when we started talking, she began to open up about one of her past relationships.(This is soooo not a letter written by a client)
She actually fell very hard for a “bad boy” or a loser. He supposedly did a lot of drugs, drank a lot and he lied to her, which was a big deal breaker for her. (Which one? The drugs, drink or lieing? 2 is ok but 3? No way!)She told him upfront that she didn’t like liars and she didn’t like hypocrites. (Drugs and booze are ok)
However, as their relationship developed, she discovered that he lied to her. She broke up with him six months ago, but I found out yesterday she is still heartbroken. She still loves the guy, because they were together for a while.(Awww)
And the question is why do women get so attached to these kinds of guys?
It was really interesting for me to hear how she wanted him to want her back, but she herself didn’t really want him back. She knew that by going back to him they would go to a place that would not be good for her in the future. (Again, this is without question a made up letter)
What this made me realize is that Amy valued him a lot more because he made her put up with so much of his shit. Even though he lied and drank, the few times that he actually paid attention to her – the few times he gave her himself – made her value him more. Every time he would ignore her but then turn around and give himself to her, it was like she hit the jackpot. (Why are you writing this letter? Sounds like you've got it figured out.)
This is something that is very difficult to understand in the psychology of people because this guy was obviously no good, but because he made himself be valued so highly, she couldn’t let go. (You just said that)At the end of our conversation, Amy admitted that she might just be attracted to bad boys.(Ya think?)
But for all of the guys out there, you need to learn to lead. Be more dominant, and be more masculine.(You listening, David? Sleepovers? Not masculine.) The reason that Amy fell so hard for this guy is because he truly led her – through the ups and the downs, and mostly downs in this case – he always led her. He was always doing the things that were most important to him, but incorporating her into his life. (Is this dating advice or the Dog Whisperer?)
David: What Khiem is really saying is 100% true. Women are attracted to strong, dominant men. (That they want to change) Whether this guy was a winner or a loser, he still led her on an emotional journey. (An emotional journey with Rufus Q. Pudwhacker?)
A lot of men will do that to women, lead them up and down, but it’s an adrenaline rush that women get addicted to. (Getting hit in the jaw with a toaster is a rush!)Women don’t want you to be soft, and they don’t want you to be needy. Women want you to lead them somewhere. We’ll have to talk about that more deeply in another blog. (can't wait)
Khiem: The interesting thing is that even though it has been six months, and Amy is trying to meet other guys, she mentioned that all the new guys she’s met are highly successful – they have degrees from high-end schools, (high end schools? WTF does that mean?)or have a great job and make great money –she’s still been unable to open her heart to them. (Because a guy with alot of money and a degree couldn't possibly be an asshole?)
It was very interesting to me because while obviously she is still in love with her ex-boyfriend, the biggest problem is that she wasn’t giving these new guys a chance. She thought that she was by going out with them, but emotionally and mentally she wasn’t judging the new guys with a clean slate. She was always comparing the new guys to her ex-boyfriend. (It's called on the rebound)
For girls that have been hurt before and have fallen hard – if you meet a new guy, look at them with a clean slate! (You just said that again! Is this a term paper for Lit class?)If you don’t, you will never see the true positives or negatives that the new guy has to offer. Every person is unique, and as much as you loved your previous boyfriend – they will never be comparable.
David: So that’s why you really should not start dating again until you’ve cleaned house. If you have an old guy or woman in the cupboard, rotting away, you need to clean that up. (Nice visual there, Doctor Love)What will happen if you don’t is that you’ll let a lot of good opportunities pass you by because you’re not emotionally ready.
I never believed in the terminology “dating for substitution.” (While I've never even heard of it) I’ve found that you don’t date to replace, but you start dating again to start a whole new experience. (Poetry..pure poetry!)


Anna Clarke said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anna Clarke said...

These days most of the girls are going for bad boys and this is really true. You have shared the true facts and i am really impressed with your article. I'll be following you for more articles. Great Read!