Monday, July 28, 2008

Dating Advice From A Goon

This is an older op-ed from Psycho Babble BullShitterCaroline Presno, one of the many frauds that somehow get paid to be "Lifestyle coaches".

5 Ways to Get Into a Man's Head
Caroline Presno, Ed.D., P.C.C. Special to Yahoo! Personals Updated: Jul 26, 2008

How many times have you wondered, "What is this guy thinking!" (Yep. Me. For reading this shit) If you want to get into a man's heart, you have to start by getting into his head. The problem is many men have a hard time being open about their thoughts and feelings. (Cliche number 1)
Armed with the following five techniques, a man will feel more comfortable opening up to you, so you can develop better communication with him and, ultimately, enjoy a better relationship.
1. Let him know you care about what he is saying. A man won't open up to you unless he knows you care. (Or at all because we want to watch tv) One of the best ways to convey this to him is through your body language. (Oh, christ)To show your interest, unfold your arms, lean into him and allow your eyes to meet his in a natural way. (And he'll get a HUGE hard-on)
Let him know that you get what he is saying (And he'll get a HUGE hard-on)
Let him know that you get what he is saying with a nod of the head or a raise of your brow.

Also, try "mirroring," which means that you absorb his body movement and convey it back to him. So if he looks stressed telling a story, you look stressed as well. It's like saying, "I feel what you are feeling. I'm putting myself in your shoes." (That is just plain and simple psychobabble bull shit at it's finest--ladies, for the love of God, DON'T DO THIS!)

2. Be nonjudgmental. No man is going to let you into his real thoughts if he senses he is going to be criticized or put down. (What's the color of the sky in Caroline's world? EVERY WOMAN DOES THIS!) Leave out comments like "How could you do something like that?" or "That's not something I would do." (Good luck with that)

Give him the freedom to express himself openly and honestly without judgment and you'll be surprised at all that comes out. (I ain't touching that)You don't have to condone or agree with everything he says. (Oh, good. You can still judge. Just don't be mean about it) You're simply creating an environment where he has the freedom to say it. (and then you can change him)

3. Don't use the word "why." When psychotherapists are in training, they are often taught to erase the word "why" from their vocabulary, because "why" questions frequently sound negative and critical. (If I say that my PHOTOGRAPH is getting larger that doesn't erase the fact that my GUT is getting larger. Blah, blah, blah, fucking blah)
When you ask a man, "Why did you do it that way?" it can come across as "Are you stupid, why on earth would you choose to do it that way?" Now he's on the defensive before you even finish the sentence. Practice using substitutes such as "Tell me more about it" instead of "Why did you do it?" (Again, has Caroline ever met a woman?)

4. Never say, "We need to talk." Nothing makes a man want to talk less than hearing "We need to talk." It conveys the message that he's done something wrong, he's in trouble for it, and you are going to let him have it. (Dog or Husband? You decide) He will shut down before the conversation starts.

The best way to bring up an important topic is to ease into it. Choose a time when you are both doing a small task together such as light cleaning or cooking, which takes the harsh focus away from "the talk" and will make him more comfortable. (I am sooo relaxed when I'm cleaning the bathroom or cooking, aren't you?) Remember not to approach him while he is involved in something important to him like Monday night football. (Here are some other ideas about dealing with a football fan.) (Or staring into space)
5. Learn how to really listen. Chances are you always listen to him but you don't always hear him. How many times have you had something else on your mind as he is talking to you? Or maybe you are thinking about what you're going to say next instead of paying full attention.
It's important to stay in the "hear" and now with him, (ZING!) rather than letting your own thoughts or the outside world intrude. A man can sense when you really want to hear what he has to say -- true listening is the best way to get him talking true to you. (We aren't chicks, Caroline.)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think this is actually taken from "Guide to Successful Sales 101".

I'm serious. I think every point on here is, in some way, in my sales support materials.