Get Ready for the Prescription Drugs!!

Audiences experience 'Avatar' blues

(CNN) -- James Cameron's completely immersive spectacle "Avatar" (so much for impartiality) may have been a little too real for some fans who say they have experienced depression and suicidal thoughts after seeing the film because they long to enjoy the beauty of the alien world Pandora. (where's her box?)

On the fan forum site "Avatar Forums," ("....I know you won't believe this, but, the Na'vi chick next door has been looking at me with lust...") a topic thread entitled "Ways to cope with the depression of the dream of Pandora being intangible," has received more than 1,000 posts from people experiencing depression and fans trying to help them cope. (Good......God) The topic became so popular last month that forum administrator Philippe Baghdassarian (Bagged a Sarian?) had to create a second thread so people could continue to post their confused feelings about the movie.

"I wasn't depressed myself. In fact the movie made me happy ," Baghdassarian said. "But I can understand why it made people depressed. The movie was so beautiful and it showed something we don't have here on Earth. (what, jungle?!?) I think people saw we could be living in a completely different world and that caused them to be depressed." (I felt the same way after Thunderdome, only, it was because of Tina Turner's outfit)

A post by a user called Elequin (the name of the prescription drug that will be invented for this 'disease) expresses an almost obsessive relationship with the film.

"That's all I have been doing as of late, searching the Internet for more info about 'Avatar.' (and "Ten Ways to please your Man"....) I guess that helps. It's so hard I can't force myself to think that it's just a movie, and to get over it, that living like the Na'vi will never happen. I think I need a rebound movie (try porn) ," Elequin posted.

A user named Mike (hey! I know him!) wrote on the fan Web site "Naviblue" that he contemplated suicide after seeing the movie.

"Ever since I went to see Avatar I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na'vi made me want to be one of them. I can't stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it," Mike posted. "I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in 'Avatar.' " (um........just go back and read that a second time and add heavy sarcasm. Read the whole thing that way. It makes it bearable)

Cameron's movie, which has pulled in more than $1.4 billion in worldwide box office sales and could be on track to be the highest grossing film of all time, is set in the future when the Earth's resources have been pillaged by the human race. A greedy corporation is trying to mine the rare mineral unobtainium from the planet Pandora, which is inhabited by a peace-loving race of 7-foot tall, blue-skinned natives called the Na'vi. (unobtainium? Pandora? Na'vi? Wow, I didn't know the movie was THAT subtle....)

In their race to mine for Pandora's resources, the humans clash with the Na'vi, leading to casualties on both sides. The world of Pandora is reminiscent of a prehistoric fantasyland, filled with dinosaur-like creatures mixed with the kinds of fauna you may find in the deep reaches of the ocean. Compared with life on Earth, Pandora is a beautiful, glowing utopia. (except for the dinosaurs)

Ivar Hill posts to the Avatar forum page under the name Eltu. (if you give us his real name, then, why the fuck do we need to know his pseudonym for this story??) He wrote about his post-Avatar depression after he first saw the film earlier this month.

"When I woke up this morning after watching Avatar for the first time yesterday, the world seemed ... gray. It was like my whole life, everything I've done and worked for, lost its meaning," Hill wrote on the forum. "It just seems so ... meaningless. I still don't really see any reason to keep ... doing things at all. I live in a dying world." (Fuck you)

Reached via e-mail in Sweden where he is studying game design, Hill, 17, (17?!? Game design?!? Why is he being interviewed again? What makes him different than any other 17-year-old gamer with low self-esteem?) explained that his feelings of despair made him desperately want to escape reality.

"One can say my depression was twofold: I was depressed because I really wanted to live in Pandora, which seemed like such a perfect place, but I was also depressed and disgusted with the sight of our world, what we have done to Earth. I so much wanted to escape reality," Hill said. (It's called "marijuana". Try it)

Cameron's special effects masterpiece is very lifelike and the 3-D performance capture and CGI effects essentially allow the viewer to enter the alien world of Pandora for the movie's 2½-hour run-time, which only lends to the separation anxiety (THERE it is! We have a name for it! Time to start the treatments) some individuals experience when they depart the movie theater.

"Virtual life is not real life and it never will be, (whoa! baaack up! What?!) but this is the pinnacle of what we can build in a virtual presentation so far," said Dr. Stephan Quentzel, psychiatrist and Medical Director for the Louis Armstrong Center for Music and Medicine at Beth Israel Medical Center in New York. (This is the longest job title in American history, Jesus.) "It has taken the best of our technology to create this virtual world and real life will never be as utopian as it seems onscreen. It makes real life seem more imperfect." (Thank God, a doctor was available to dish that bit of info...Thanks, Doc!)

The bright side is that for Hill and others like him who became dissatisfied with their own lives and with our imperfect world after enjoying the fictional creation of James Cameron, becoming a part of a community of like-minded people (suicidal nerds) on an online forum has helped them emerge from the darkness.

"After discussing on the forums for a while now, my depression is beginning to fade away. Having taken a part in many discussions concerning all this has really, really helped me," Hill said. "Before, I had lost the reason to keep on living -- but now it feels like these feelings are gradually being replaced with others." (....anybody wanna switch seats?)

Quentzel said creating relationships with others is one of the keys to human happiness and that even if those connections are occurring online they are better than nothing. (wise doctor, indeed. It's like a correspondence course for human interaction!)

Within the fan community, suggestions for battling feelings of depression after seeing the movie include things like playing "Avatar" video games or downloading the movie soundtrack (gee, I wonder if any of the marketing reps wrote under a fake name and suggested they buy more shit? I think the best treatment for these depressed folks is to run out and buy more Avatar merchandise!) in addition to encouraging members to relate to other people outside the virtual realm and to seek out positive and constructive activities.. (that would require actual physical connections with other humans. Not gunna happen.)