Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Ted Nugent: Fuckstick of the Week

Colossal prick and Shooter of Animals Ted Nugent went on Hannity and Colmes last night and here's what this asshole (Nugent, not Hannity. Well, Hannity as well.) had to say:

Rocker Ted Nugent Discusses His New Book
Tuesday, October 14, 2008

This is a rush transcript from "Hannity & Colmes," October 13, 2008. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
SEAN HANNITY, CO-HOST: Our next guest is well known to legions of rock 'n' roll fans, (Uncles everywhere) but he's here to unveil his brand-new book on politics, "Ted, White and Blue: The Nugent Manifesto." (Ugh)Joining us now with his no-holds-barred (Ugh again) plan to attack what he calls the problems that are gutting our nation, rock star, friend, author, Ted Nugent.
All right, Ted, you know what? I'm very simple. (No shit) I want politicians — I don't care what party. I want you to be fiscally responsible. I don't want you to wave the right flag of surrender like Obama. (He doesn't care what party..Right)I want to stay on offense on the war on terror. I want energy independence, including drilling and nuclear power. And I want immigration — I want our borders secure. (By demonizing brown people who work at McDonalds)
Am I close to the manifesto?
TED NUGENT, AUTHOR, "TED, WHITE AND BLUE": Sean, you're my American blood brother. Yes, the manifesto, "Ted, White and Blue," is just a celebration of the logic, the pragmatism that you outline every day. And it's alive and well across this country.
I had the greatest tour of my life, 71 rock-outs in 81 days, (County fairs and tractor pulls) and in every nook and cranny of this nation,(Podunk backwater burgs) goodwill, decency, honesty, rugged individualism and, most important, accountability from we. the people. is alive and well. (Nothing subliminally racist there at all)
NUGENT: We'd like — we'd like Fedzilla (Up all night) to show a little bit of accountability, and that's what we're demanding.
HANNITY: One of the things you said — I sat there, and I said, "This makes sense." (Sean will start sucking Ted's dick at some point)It's refuse to fund health care for people who don't care, you know, about their own health. And that means people that are — use drugs, that drink and smoke and are destroying their own lives. (Christian compassion at its best right there, Sean. God, what an ass.)
You know, that's — believe it or not, that's considered controversial, Ted. Not that that bothers you, by the way. (Hard hitting interview)
NUGENT: No, no. That doesn't bother me at all. You know, I'm speaking on behalf of not just the Nugent family. (I'm speaking for thousands of Cro Magnon douche bags everywhere. And when I say everywhere I mean Texas) We wake up extra early every day and put our heart and soul into being the best that we can be. (Oh, fuck off)And we would never be so irresponsible to expect someone else to cover our health care if we don't conduct ourselves in a responsible fashion and actually care about our health. (So, if Ted gets cancer because of air pollution or breaks his back because he fell on the ice he shouldn't get health care because he shouldn't be walking around there anyway. Nice logic, dickface)
HANNITY: Let me...
NUGENT: Remember, Sean, I'm not alone on this. (Don't we know)There's a huge, powerful, positive force in America that still, you know, conducts themselves in an accountable fashion, and this book celebrates that.
HANNITY: Let me ask you this, based on the Nugent manifesto, what you think of the Obama manifesto, which is to wave the right flag of surrender, to cut off funding for our troops while they're fighting, accuse them of air-raiding villages and killing civilians. He wants to nationalize health care, raise taxes on corporations and capital gains. (Did you ask him something? That sounds suspiciously like a right wing rant)
What do you think of Barack Obama as a president? (Oh, thanks)
NUGENT: Well, you know, I come from the good — the once great city of Detroit and the great, great state of Michigan. If America wants this country to smell and conduct themselves and be this huge sucking sound like Detroit has become, then by all means vote another Democrat in, because Detroit and Michigan is a case study in liberal Democrat policies being forced upon a once great, great state. (Right. No jobs were lost in Michigan during the Reagan Administration)
ALAN COLMES, CO-HOST: And Washington is an example of great Republican policies.
Ted, welcome back to the show.
NUGENT: That would be liberal Democrat policies. Hi, Alan.
COLMES: John McCain, by the way, voted not to fund the troops on a bill that had a time line attached to it, so I guess he hates the troops, too. (Stop using logic!)
But you once said, "Hey, Obama, you might want to suck on one of these, you punk." You were talking about your gun. "He's a piece of blank." You told him to "Suck on my machine gun." You said Hillary is a "B" word; "let her suck on this." Is this what you want to teach your kids?
NUGENT: Call me Sam Kinnison with a guitar, Alan. (Sam Kinison is dead. Can we hope?)
COLMES: I see, I see.
NUGENT: You know, everybody I know gets the joke. If you don't, Sean will explain it to you.
COLMES: I'm sure using the "B" word, calling Hillary the "B" word and calling Obama a piece of blank, that's really funny material. Really. I got to...
NUGENT: Not the "B" word.
COLMES: That's really funny stuff.
You say in the book, each morning you bow down to the almighty and pray for good bombing weather. Who would Jesus bomb?
NUGENT: You know, we love bombing tyrants and despots and slave drivers. We love killing bad guys so that innocent life can be saved. (50,000 civilians in Iraq. They had it comin'!)Do you understand that Alan?
COLMES: So you pray for bombing weather every day, because that's a good Christian, Jesus type thing to do, to find people we can bomb on a daily basis?
HANNITY: Ask him if he's bombed Hitler. (huh?)
NUGENT: Hopefully, we'll get Mugabe this time. You know? (I'm beginning to understand why I want him to die)
COLMES: So that's where you're coming from.
NUGENT: That's where I'm coming from.
COLMES: You want to kill on sight anybody who illegally comes into the country. Just shoot them, right?
NUGENT: If they're armed, and they're attacking our country, yes. (All those Mexicans with semi automatics)
COLMES: Well, they wouldn't be attacking. You don't know if someone coming over the border — would you just shoot anybody coming over the border who you suspect of being illegal?
NUGENT: In an unauthorized entry, armed, like they are right now, invading our country, I'd like to shoot them dead. (Wow)
COLMES: Just shoot them dead. All right.
Also, parents of overweight kids who have blubber or bad hygiene should be charged with neglect. Are you going to — the government is going to decide your kid's fat, you're going to go to jail?
COLMES: Really? So you want more government involvement in people's personal lives that way?
NUGENT: No, not at all. What I'm talking about is a sense of accountability that I see in my family and everybody I hang out with. All my hunting buddies, they conduct themselves in a responsible fashion. (By shooting bears)
There is a pandemic of health-care overload right now, because people don't care about their health. And certainly, obesity is at the source of this pandemic of wasted tax dollars. Paying for health care because these people don't care about their health. (Fuck 'em. I'm sure all the folks at Ted's concerts are in great shape.)
Do you understand that, Alan? Is that a little too deep for you?
COLMES: Yes, I do. You talk slowly enough for me. I don't live in a Ted state, so I guess I'm OK. But listen...
NUGENT: Obviously.
COLMES: ... thank you for being with us.
HANNITY: Ted, do me a favor: take him hunting. Take him out hunting.
NUGENT: I want to...
COLMES: I think I'd rather go hunting with Cheney than go hunting with you.
NUGENT: I'm killing many deer for you, Alan, this year. (what a man!)


Christo P. Ney said...

Ummm....I'm at a loss.

What's more socialist than telling people what kind of food they can eat? Or how to conduct their lives? Cripes!

And what's more fascist than promoting the execution of suspected illegal immigrants?


Mate Famber said...

And when was Ted's last hit?
Wasn't he in Damn Yankees?! I believe we were in high school.

Yeah, he's a tool.