Thursday, October 2, 2008

Cuckoo! Cuckoo!

Former Congresswoman and Bat Shit Loon Cynthia McKinney is apparently running for President as the nominee of the Green Party. That would be the same Green Party that Ralph Nader was the nominee of in 2000 and 2004.

McKinney Accuses Government of Slaughtering Prisoners, Dumping Bodies During Katrina
WASHINGTON: Green Party presidential candidate Cynthia McKinney claims the Department of Defense executed 5,000 prisoners with one bullet to the head (just one?)and then dumped their bodies in a Louisiana swamp during Hurricane Katrina. (No one noticed 5,000 corpses. THAT is what I call covert!)
At a news conference in Oakland, Calif., on Sunday, McKinney claimed the Pentagon authorized the execution of the prisoners with one bullet to the head three years ago and then dumped their bodies in a Louisiana swamp.

McKinney said she heard the story from the mother of a National Guard soldier who said her son was assigned to help dispose of the bodies. (Well, case closed then..)
"And these were mostly males and her son was afraid to talk because he had signed a silence agreement," (Wow) McKinney told the crowd. "So he only complained to his mother. But the data was entered into a Pentagon computer." (Come on. Where are the cameras? Is Alan Funt coming out?)
McKinney said she verified the story from "insiders" who wanted to remain anonymous. (The insiders are the voices inside Cynthia's loony head)
"I suspect that these are prisoners. ... So this investigation of the whole prison industrial complex is extremely important and it should not end with just a question of the nature of prisons in our country," she said to a captivated audience. (Car wreck like captivating) "These 5,000 souls also need some justice too." (Justice for the Made Up 5000! Justice for the Fictitious Five Grand!)
A Defense Department spokesman dismissed McKinney's accusation. (Really?)
"The claim is outrageous on the very face of it and doesn't merit any further consideration," said Lt. Col. Les' Melnyk. "It would be inconceivable that 5,000 people would go missing in America without anyone noticing it prior to this." (That's far too many words to use on this, sir.)
Psychologists and psychology professors contacted by wouldn't comment on McKinney's mental condition, but they expressed shock at her assertion. (I'll comment: SHE'S FUCKING NUTS!!)
"Wow! What a conspiracy theory," one professor exclaimed before declining comment and hanging up the phone. (Says Professor Mundane)
Dr. Celia Ward, a clinical psychologist in Washington, D.C., said she wouldn't speculate on McKinney's state of mind because McKinney heard the story from someone else. (Huh?)
"This sounds like a game of telephone," Ward said, explaining how a rumor can change as it passes from one person to another. "But to take something that has so many questions attached to it and to treat a rumor as fact is the basis for mass distortion. It's really a good example of Swift-boating." (Or Bat Shit Fucked Up Retardation)
Ward said McKinney could have easily verified the story by checking prison records.
"This is the kind of rumor that warrants fact-checking," she said. (I'm getting tired)
McKinney's presidential campaign did not respond to a request for comment. (I'll bet.)
A member of the House for 12 years until 2007,(I'll bet the voters of that district are proud) McKinney is no stranger to controversy. Shortly after the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, she suggested that President Bush knew about the plot in advance but failed to warn Americans because of his father's business interests. (That actually sounds rational compared to this) Some political analysts say that statement contributed to her defeat in 2002. (That and the fact she's a stark raving loon)
After McKinney was re-elected in 2004, she tried to impeach Bush, Vice President Cheney and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice on charges that they lied and manipulated intelligence to justify the war in Iraq. (Maybe that theory might have grown some legs if you didn't have Crazy Shit Pants McGee leading the charge) McKinney hit a career low point in 2006 when she was accused of striking a Capitol Police officer who grabbed her after she passed a security checkpoint without wearing a congressional lapel pin. She later apologized for the incident. She was defeated in a Democratic primary later that year and left the Democratic Party in 2007. (Kind of like how I "left" my last job after they shit canned me) She was nominated in July to run for president on the Green Party ticket. There are 245 other Green Party candidates running for office this fall. (And I'll bet they're happy about this.)

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